So if you’re reading this, thank you for taking the time to read it, I promise it’ll be worth your time. This story is based on true events from a field trip experience I had when I was in eight grade. Enjoy.
Today is the day.
The day the third graders have been looking forward to. The day they packed lots of chocolate-chip cookies into their backpacks. The day they finally get to seek new knowledge in the outside world.
Today… is fieldtrip day!
If you didn’t know they were on a fieldtrip, you would think a bunch of kids had won the lottery. The third graders were all jumping with joy and excitement, running around and shouting about. Why? Because what’s special about this fieldtrip is that they would be going to not one, but two places. So they were expected to be back at the school in the late afternoon. Exciting huh? Now and then a kid would ask one of the teachers in charge on when they were leaving, and every time it’s the same answer. Eight thirty. The teacher looked at her watch, eight twenty. Ten minutes to go.
After leading the kids in and out of the toilets, making a few last minute preparations, it was finally time to go. The kids happily boarded the bus with two teachers to keep an eye on them, while the rest boarded a van. After a few seconds the bus took off, and they were on the road. First stop, the dairy milk farm.
Kids who love milk were one thing, but kids who love milk and were heading to a milk farm full of real live cows was a whole other. As soon as the doors flew open, the kids eagerly poured off the bus and rushed to where a man was standing in front of a gate. The two teachers who were supposed to lead the kids just stood there dumbfounded. Those kids sure do have a lot of energy today. The rest of the teachers arrived and they went to join the kids. When everyone was already inside the farm, the bus driver pulled down his hat and fell asleep. He had no interest in seeking knowledge from cows whatsoever.
The man, who the kids greeted, was the owner of the farm and started to explain what the kids will be doing that day. Of course, milking the cows was one of them and the children popped out their questions.
“Can we really milk the cows?”
“How many do you have?”
“Can we drink the milk?”
“Do cows poop?”
Mr. Owner laughed. “Boy, you kids sure do have a lot of energy, after we have a full tour of the farm, then we can milk the cows”
The kids cheered happily. The owner had them board a long golf car with a tractor leading it and soon they were touring the farm.
The kids had a lot of fun, they found out that not only did the farm have cows, they had all sorts of animals. Rabbits, horses, chickens, sheep, the kids enjoyed feeding the animals. And after having being treated with chocolate milk bars, it was time to get to milking.
When they got to the cow stalls, Mr. Owner and two other people brought out some milking equipment and a bucket. Then he began to show the kids how to milk.
“All you have to do is squeeze, and pull. It’s pretty easy but you have to be gentle while you’re at it. Now everyone form a line!”
Soon the kids formed a long line, and while waiting for their turn, the kids started chattering endlessly and some continued to eat their milk bars. After a few minutes, seven people by far had already milk a cow. With Mr. Owner to help, it wasn’t really hard, and everyone was enjoying their time, until when it happened.
A few kids were talking when they heard a splattering sound. A sound like liquid hitting a solid surface, and it sounded near. When they turned to where the sound came from, their jaws immediately dropped.
The cows, they were pooping!
The kids continued to stare in horror as two more cows started to poop. The teachers, noticing the scene, pulled the children away from the pooping cows. But that didn’t solve the problem. One kid, who was among the kids being pulled back, noticed he had brown stains on his arms. The poor boy didn’t know that it came from his melting chocolate bar and instantly, he started screaming.
“AHHHH!! I GOT COW POOP ON MY ARM, HELP!!!”
He started running off to the other kids, wiping his arm on them, and soon the other kids started to run about, screaming and wiping their arms on each other. It was chaos.
“I GOT COW POOP ON ME!!”
“GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”
“COW POOP COW POOP!”
“HELP, HE GOT COW POOP ONTO MY ARM!!”
Everything was so out of control. The teachers tried seizing the kids, trying to calm them, but it wasn’t much help. More and more kids got ‘cow poop’ on their bodies and soon everyone was running about the place. As for the cows, they continued their business. After several exhausting minutes, the teachers were finally able to round up the children and calm them down. To get the kids out of the situation, Mr. Owner decided to lead the kids to a projector room where they would watch a movie about how milk was manufactured. After they clean up in the toilets of course.
After half an hour, the kids came out of the projector room, beaming. They had enjoyed the movie and completely forgot about what happened half an hour ago. They were pretty relieved to board the bus and head to their next destination. Mr. Owner waved them goodbye as the bus went out the main entrance and on to the road. Next stop, the goat farm.
A lot of you probably don’t know this but there is such a thing as goat milk. That’s what the kids learned at the goat farm. Well, at least they did, because again, another chaotic scene emerged.
It all started when the kids were touring the goat house, looking at goats (of course, duh). While walking their way through the house, the kids noticed that there were little black balls scattered everywhere on the floor. Seeing a couple of goats eating them, they thought it was the goats’ food. Someone suggested that it was raisins, just a little larger (well, they looked like raisins).
Some kids started playing with the large raisins, kicking it to the goats, which ate them. Suddenly, someone yelled “hey! a goat’s pooping!” Automatically, everyone ran to see the pooping goat. After the cow poop controversy, they figured a goat’s poop wouldn’t be much of a sight. But it was.
The goat’s ‘poop’ was actually tons of little black balls that looked like raisins, not the long liquidly one like the cows’. The kids, however, stared in horror as they now realized what the little black balls they had been stepping on really are. After the goat finished its business, well, you probably guessed what happened.
“GOAT POOP! AHHHH!!!”
“WE’RE WALKING ON GOAT POOP!!”
“GET US OUT OF HERE!!!!”
“GET ME OUT!!”
The kids started running and screaming, looking for the exit. The goats jerked in surprised at the sudden outburst and ran to the corners of their stalls. The exhausted teachers had to run around, trying to seize the kids, again. But this time, it was no help. Everyone just kept on running and screaming. The teachers were helpless. It was a good thing that goat poop was hard and solid, not the type that would squish the moment you stepped on them. But still, it was disgusting. And the fact that it looked like raisins made it even more disgusting. The goats, which were watching the scene from their stalls, were completely confused as to what was happening. But then again, they’re goats.
As though a miracle had happened, one of the teachers found the exit and soon the kids were pouring out, screaming as they ran to the bus. Other visitors had to stop and look as more screaming kids ran about, rubbing their feet furiously on rugs before boarding their bus. When everyone was finally on board, they were all exhausted from running and screaming and fell asleep right away as soon as their butts hit their seats. The bus and the teachers’ van finally left the farm, leaving nothing but a herd of confused goats.
When they reached the school, the kids got off the bus and ran to their waiting parents. Everyone was thrilled to be going home, after a really exhausting day. As for the teachers, all they could think of was their comfy warm beds waiting for them at home. The day ended with a bunch of tired third graders, energy-drained teachers and a herd of goats which were still confused of today’s event.
The next day, the principal got numerous calls from the third graders’ parents, asking what had happened at the field trip yesterday. Seeing how tired their kids were and aware of where they went, the parents decided to treat them with a warm glass of fresh cow milk and honey-coated cornflakes mixed with raisins for a snack. After one look, the kids started screaming and ran up to their rooms. The next day they were too sick to go to school. The principal then delivered the astonishing news to the teachers. They were pretty surprised. As much as they were concerned about their students, the teachers were relieved that they didn’t show up. Because after yesterday’s chaos, they needed more than just a night’s rest.
And so did the goats.